I am not in the habit of sending jokes but these seemed too appropriate for
you guys! (lol) Mrs. Wood-Hill
Lessons for future doctors? :) --Marcia
>>
>>A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby
>>in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
>>lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed
>>that there were several cabs -and I was in the wrong one.
>>Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX.
>>
>>2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
>>and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big
>>breaths,†I
>>instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
>>Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
>>
>>3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
>>her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
>>five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family
>>that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
>>Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
>>
>>4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
>>cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
>>with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked "The patch. The
>>nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out
of
>>places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what
>>I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
>>Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a
new
>>one.
>>Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
>>
>>5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How
>>long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
>>answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
>>Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
>>
>>6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this
>>morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
>>to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see
>>the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
>>Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
>>
>>7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
purple
>>hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and
>>wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the
>>patient
>>had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When
she
>>was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her
>>pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that
>>read, "Keep
>>off the grass."
>>Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
>>patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
>>Submitted by RN no name
>>
>>AND FINALLY!!!................
>>
>>8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite
>>embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
>>embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
>>The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly
>>burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work
>>and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No
>>doctor,
>>but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer
Wiener".
>>Dr. wouldn't submit his name
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