By
Renata Louwers
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KARL-JOSEF HILDENBRAND/AFP/Getty Images
During the 11 months when my husband, Ahmad, was dying of bladder cancer, few people wanted to hear how he was truly doing. They wanted to hear about hope, courage, and positivity, not about how Ahmad
was unlikely to survive or his ruminations on how to live well while dying.
I don’t blame them. Before I experienced it, I wouldn’t have wanted to hear it either. The problem was that we couldn’t escape it because his cancer overtook our lives. The only way out was through. And
“through” meant living with the knowledge of pending death and its attendant difficulties and practical realities. I often felt I should candy-coat the story for others to spare them the pain of it, though I tried hard not to.
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